Last Days At Work

I wake up selfish

Yesterday’s make-up

Under my eyes.

We reach for each other

But we are both preoccupied

With the day ahead.

Our son,

Half asleep,

Somewhere in the background,

Is about to be carted off.

I reach for my breakfast-

Coffee and Prozac.

We kiss good-bye.

Excruciating

The time

From when I hear

Your car leave

To when

My bathrobe

Hits the cold floor.

Excruciating

When I see yesterday

Washing down the drain.

Pain flung aside

Like the shower curtain,

I dry and

Suit -up into sausage casing

Forcing size 6 clothes

Over a 10 body.

I elevate,

Grab more coffee

And race out the door.

Excruciating

The time from the driveway

To the office

Already late.

Excruciating

My manic manner

And pangs of loneliness.

I arrive

With these secrets

Hoping for conversation

Rather than my piles of work.

Throughout the day

I binge on coffee

And water

And business lunches.

I binge on people

And projects

And spur-of-the moment shopping sprees.

Nothing fills me!

So I go home selfish

To exercise

And plan tomorrow’s outfit-

Existing on the outskirts

Of my family.

My Self.

By Catherine Valleroy